Dear You. 004

Dear you,

I'm convinced that when you and your husband found each other, it was your ultimate goal to be the most annoying couple I know. Your offspring even joined in on this aspiration. Why all three of you chose to work at the same place is beyond me. And why all of you decided to come here, I'm not sure. But out of all of the things I despise about that place, your family is what I dread the most.

I understand people have problems. But I swear your family has every problem in the book. You belong in the looney bin, not here. With all of the medication you take and the classes you take to "stay more focused", I'm not sure that you can safely operate anything in this building. Your husband has had some of the worst luck I've ever known a person to have. On top of that, you two are the most needy people I have met. And your son - the one I've met at least - is a true gem of a person, resembling a spoiled little college kid that was never taught how to live on his own. The other one? Well, stealing your car and robbing people makes him sound even more precious.

I'm not one to judge, really. I do, however, know more about your family than I ever cared to. Because of this, I feel tempted to have sympathy for you. But then I remember who I'm thinking about. Then I remember that your entire family treats me like I'm your shoulder to cry on, your problem fixer and your shrink, and I can't do squat about it. Oh, other than deciding where you work while you make my life hell.

Those days you requested to work extra hours and didn't get them? That might have been me. Those times you told me you hated those machines, but seem to keep getting put on them? I may have "forgotten" that you told me that. Since you'll be complaining regularly anyway, I'm happy to put up with extra whining to watch you suffer.


Wishing your family would relocate,

Me.

Halloween VS. Christmas

People have started decorating for Christmas. I've seen the wreaths that go up on streetlights as well as the gaudy lighted candy canes that hang from trees around my city. There are lit city trees and sections in grocery store lots being set-up for Christmas trees. And finally, one of the people that works under the fiance already got his Christmas tree. Trust me, I cried a little.

Meanwhile, my Halloween decorations are still standing strong. Our cemetary like front yard is still holding it's own with it's the creature hanging from our gutter and caged mutant thing hanging from our front light. How's that for Christmas spirit?

We live in a cul-de-sac and the house across from us has their nativity scene already set up in all of it's glory. I sat outside yesterday comparing the two battling decorations and obviously thought ours was much more thoughtful. Not to mention, not too damn early for the holiday it's celebrating. Christmas should not be decorated for until December. Let me have October and November for my Halloween decorations. December can have Christmas. If I get around to it. By the way, decorations are not needed for Thanksgiving.

As of right now, I think I'm going to try to outlast their Christmas decor with my Halloween decor. So come February, I will have a creepy snowy graveyard in my front lawn when everyone has those damn little pink and red hearts everywhere.

Dear You. 003

Dear you,

While I understand you have no issues with people just stopping by unannounced, I do. You may have called, but I did not answer. Intentionally. That one unanswered phone call should mean that you should try again later. Or even better, wait for me to return your phone call. It never means that you should just drive over to my house. Never.

It's not the first time you've done this. Most definitely not the last. Unfortunately, you make me want to move just outside that limit of where you are willing to drive. You've made it quite easy though. If I add a bridge into the route to access my home, you will no longer arrive there unannounced. Fantastic idea if it weren't so damn far away from everything I enjoy doing or even hate doing, such as going to work each day.

I understand you have little or no boundaries. I also understand it seems to be impossible for you to care about anyone else but yourself. However, some day, when 20 people show up at your house unannounced, you'll know who sent them. And you'll know how much it sucks.

Oh-So-Happily-Yours,

Me.

Environmental Services Assistant I = Janitor?

Upon browsing for news jobs for the fiance last night, I took notice in a position that I felt would definitely fit in with the degree I'm pursuing in Environmental Management. The position? Environmental Services Assistant I and even Environmental Services Assistant II! I was ecstatic. I knew that the likelihood of me being qualified with only 4 general education classes fully under my belt was slim, but I wanted to know what was out there.

I clicked the level 1 position and the job was no longer to be found. It had been removed after 3 days. I was devastated. I clicked the level 2 position. Removed as well. Still determined to at least uncover this precious gem, I entered the title into Google. It was found! My excitement rose again. Until I found the job description.

The duties? Dusting. Sweeping. Taking out the trash. Cleaning toilets. Picking up after patients (it was at a hospital.) Everything that I hated doing in my own household was lumped into some poorly named job that was never someone's dream. Environmental Services? Where?! I do not see the ties between the two. Please tell me how taking out someone's trash is assisting the environment. Unless I am supposed to sift through it and decide what's recyclable. If that is the case, please respect my decision when I tell you I do not care about the environment enough to go through someone else's garbage. Especially from a hospital.

Disappointed, I moved forward and decided that I should start looking at all jobs from now on. Even those that are entitled "Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis Researcher," because they just might be something I'm qualified for.

Writing 101

I've always wanted to express myself for a living. Through art. Writing. Whatever. I just wanted to be heard.

I started journaling. Then blogging. Then journaling. Blogging. Journaling. Etc. I went back and forth between private tangible journals and public web posts. Obviously I'm in the blogging phase now.

I attempted drawing comic-book-like-characters. Thought it was too childish. Tried a degree in Marketing and Web Design. Gave up after two semesters. Tried art classes. Hated them. Tried writing poetry. Hated it. Tried writing a novel. Got tired after 100 words. Made cards and scrapbooked. Got lazy. Decided to go to school for Environmental Management. Knew it had nothing to do with writing. I was/am at a dead-end.

So now I stand here. Working as a Scheduler, attending school for Environmental Management, and longing to use my passion for expression as a career, not a hobby. I have the motivation. The want. The drive.

I only have one question.

How exactly am I supposed to pull it off?

Trick-Or-Treating

It is truly amazing what can pass as a Halloween costume these days. I was always under the assumption that I was receiving candy for my creativeness in finding a costume. Therefore, every year that I went trick-or-treating, I dressed up. Every year. I also stopped going at an age where I wasn't getting stared down for being too old. I don't 100% remember that age, however, I know it never felt awkward to go. And I never brought pillowcases. Perhaps I had a different vision of what Halloween was and I probably still do.

Also, trick-or-treaters seem to be getting lazier. Jeans and a sweatshirt pass as a costume You rolled out of bed and came door-to-door for candy? Wow! AMAZING costume! They also just thrust their bag out at you without saying a word, expecting candy. On top of that, the ones that do speak, request specific candy and make you pick through it like you would have to go a 5-year-old, yet they look to be 15. Luckily for us, most of the spoiled brats steered clear from our house and we also scared the crap out of some little kids. Unintentional, but hilarious. Apparently that's what decorations, such as a jar of eyeballs or a fortune telling skull, that sense movement, can be terrifying. Who knew? All I know is they'll be out again next year. :)

My Future Self

So, I made my grocery run to Wal-Mart today. They did not have caskets, by the way. From this trip, I'd like to leave myself a note for when I become old and gray.

Please stay agile all through the years. If this is an impossible task, I do not fault you. However, everyone else will and if you don't want to get run over with carts, do it!

While I understand that as you age, your body does not function like it used to in many ways. Not only do I sympathize with that, but I've already felt those effects. But it is insanely frustrating to navigate through aisles barely meant for two carts to fit through and then come to a stand still because the aisle slows to turtle speed. Actually, turtles may just be offended by that.

If you are unable to move quickly, at least try to pay attention.

On top of that, I dislike running into people that I went to high school with.