Dear You. 004

Dear you,

I'm convinced that when you and your husband found each other, it was your ultimate goal to be the most annoying couple I know. Your offspring even joined in on this aspiration. Why all three of you chose to work at the same place is beyond me. And why all of you decided to come here, I'm not sure. But out of all of the things I despise about that place, your family is what I dread the most.

I understand people have problems. But I swear your family has every problem in the book. You belong in the looney bin, not here. With all of the medication you take and the classes you take to "stay more focused", I'm not sure that you can safely operate anything in this building. Your husband has had some of the worst luck I've ever known a person to have. On top of that, you two are the most needy people I have met. And your son - the one I've met at least - is a true gem of a person, resembling a spoiled little college kid that was never taught how to live on his own. The other one? Well, stealing your car and robbing people makes him sound even more precious.

I'm not one to judge, really. I do, however, know more about your family than I ever cared to. Because of this, I feel tempted to have sympathy for you. But then I remember who I'm thinking about. Then I remember that your entire family treats me like I'm your shoulder to cry on, your problem fixer and your shrink, and I can't do squat about it. Oh, other than deciding where you work while you make my life hell.

Those days you requested to work extra hours and didn't get them? That might have been me. Those times you told me you hated those machines, but seem to keep getting put on them? I may have "forgotten" that you told me that. Since you'll be complaining regularly anyway, I'm happy to put up with extra whining to watch you suffer.


Wishing your family would relocate,

Me.